A. Eskimo Favors

These are the "Eskimo Rules."

#1: This is really an end rule. If you ever say I can't touch your pussy, I'm not allowed to touch it until you can prove it's been filled with spunk.

#2: You Really Shouldn't Do It! No one, under any circumstances, is ever, ever allowed to see your pubies. And that takes care of that!

#3: To Affirm She's Not Wild: If you ever feel depressed and horny, like you just have to have a man, I'll help you find one.

#4: To Demonstrate She's Independent! To encourage someone special you take out on a date, you'll "go purposefully Italian."

#5: Lessons in Logic: If people need to be taught different things, you'll teach them.

#6: Then We'll Have to Do the Next Level: If you dress a little "probably not," untie your Gordian knot, and "go Italian," I'll take you to a party, or truck stop, where you can be abducted.

#7: "I Guess I Better ... It's Only Fair." Imagine being at a party, sitting in front of someone you know wants to see ... waiting for me to touch your shoulder, ... then slowly letting ...

#8: ... A Succinct Monorail ("A promise is a promise!") Urgent & Abetting ("Whenever you want.") Bare-bones Contrition ("Not everyone does.") In a Very Thin Line ("You devil, you!") She's a Fallen Angel.

#9: Isadora Duncan Natural Dancing ... She's Got All the Moves: After the party, we'll make an explicitly erotic video of you talking on the phone to someone, ("What should I do?") and if they can guess what you're doing, we'll give them the video. ("Probably dance naked.")

#10: "If he sees it, he might want to do more." You Fish on Your Side, I Fish on My Side, and No One Fishes in the Middle: "How far will you go to keep from being tickled?"

#11: With a Flower in Your Hair, and Ribbons: Yellow for licking pussy; black for sucking cock; mint for asking for a spanking; forest for getting tied up; orange for drawing a rule; red for touching off; gold for making a video; silver for falling in love; white for playing straight; blue for stepping out; tangerine for no touching! — ; mango for fooling around; pink for kissing lessons.

#12: Nipples of Venus: When we go on a trip, you'll prove to at least three other people that you're "going Italian." At a party, with a carefree hint of insecurity, one.

#13: Girls' Night Out: I'll hide money in the refrigerator for "Girls Escaping Together, Late And In Demand!" For all teasing of "unknown hotties" and where it leads, you'll tell. ("Are you married or single?" "Both.")

#14: House Rule: "Kissing goes a lot farther when you're naked."

#15: And Kneel a Lot, Too: If you're ever "going with someone else," we'll set up an alcoholic schedule for which you'll let me pay you for favors.

#16: First Contact: She'll have him dial the number then lick her pussy while she talks to someone on the phone. "We're going to do Show & Tell! ... Oops! ... Not a ... secret ... anymore!"

#17: "Once!" is an infidelity game. She initiates the game by saying, "Once!" He accepts the challenge by inserting his penis completely inside her vagina, then withdrawing it, exactly once (to test her "willingness.") To complete the "pact," she must go out, then prove her vagina has been filled with spunk. This game may be played in a wide variety of situations, even going so far as taking on a permanent house guest.

#18: To add an element of "unpredictability" to the "Game of Once!" she may add an additional rule of any kind. To make it even wilder, she may bring back a "remote rule" from some unknown. For instance, "He says you're not allowed to do it even once."

#19: Because It Fits: Don't Wiggle! "Is this okay, or ... should we get a second opinion? Or ... what are you looking at?"

#20: Teasing and Orgasm Denial: "He says, 'Tight every night.' So, ... do you think he'll like this?"

#21: Loose Strings & Precautionary Flings: "You like it when we play Doctor & Patient who has to have a second opinion, don't you?"

#22: Maybe Better Without a Bra: "Do you think this is too see-through?"

#23: A Firm Reminder: Around home she'll wear a T-shirt that says, "Just say no to pussy."

#24: Incredulous Sidelong Stare & Toss of the Hair: "Did You Get an Erection?" Harem is a Turkish word that means, "You can't go in there!"

#25: Forbidden Fruit ... Tastes the Sweetest: We'll make love only with our hands, the way girls would.

#26: Dutch Treat: "You can share me, except you have to remain completely faithful ... even when you're out of town."

#27: Reach Out and Touch Someone Else: "Then we'll talk on the phone."

#28: Now We Have a Half-Open Marriage ... Drilling It Home ): "If I tell you something, promise you won't be mad?"

#29: To Have So Much To Lose Is Awfully Nice: "I'm in love with him."

#30: I'm Always the Last Person to Know: "And I'm leaving you ... my underpants!"

#31: How Far Will You Go? "No one will fuck you. Sex is the emotion of memory."

#32: Cheers to the Designated Driver: "So I can stay in your stable?"

#33: Taking Separate Vacations, Together! We'll travel as Eskimo and wife. "Doesn't he have nice manners?"

#34: For When She Goes High-Hat: (Standing At Attention & Behaving Himself) Repeatedly we dance, ("I'll show you a shortcut ...") just wrist to wrist, ("...When a lady likes the feel of hands on her tits, ...") forfeit a piece, ("... she makes her tits accessible.") then switch partners.

#35: Sweet Nothings, With Both Hands Around His Neck: ("He'll be jealous.") "I guess I'll have to make it up to him."

#36: Who Says Change Isn't Easy? "He's as hard as you!"

#37: Something Snapped! The Last Obstacle To Giving Herself Completely: "I'm giving him kissing lessons."

#38: On The Edge with a Femme Fatale: "Let's take turns, all right? ... dancing close ... like this." ... Playing Musical Pussy!

#39: The Fine & Upstanding Tradition of Breasts: "It's only fair ... You have to share!"

#40: One in the Morning, and One at Night: "Why, he's a French country gentleman!" though there's a whole other way to do things: "Honey, could you break one in half for me? I don't want to eat a whole one ... Do you mind if I show him your prize little pussy?" and pulls aside her thong, "She's very smooth, isn't she?" listening to the warm breath close to his ear, "Come on, I'm going to show you how the other half lives!" exposing her to his sight, and maybe something else. "See? Every time you touch her nipple, she spreads her legs. She can't help it." Behind the morning glories, behind the arbor, behind the falling fence ... "I saved you a lot of trouble." Behind the morning glories. "Do her belly, will you?" Not in the center, one on each side: "Honey, do you mind if I thank him for being such a gentleman?" All will be revealed and it will be so much easier. "I'll have to get the hardware, I don't see any yet." Or a screw, some people say .. I don't go for that stuff. "Who's here?" I don't know, I must have been eight, both of them had it so hard. "Let me start by thanking him a little," .. It's a beach forest ... They have deer, wild boar, and goats, .. "... and when I'm thanking him some more," .. and among other things, ".. you can tell me when to stop .." .. they have wild cats. ".. So don't say .." .. And soon they're just two bears, "I didn't give you .." .. plundering .. "a valentine!" .. honey.

#41: Erotic Pathways — Little Else But a Grass Skirt: If you say, "Keep at least fifteen feet away from me until I tell you otherwise," while we're on vacation in Hawaii, some poor-to-dying soul might get lucky.

#42: If It Doesn't Come Off, That's It! "Do you mind if I join the crowd?" Topless Hunting: "Don't the French do that?" Leave It To the French, Huh? "Does it make you hard to know you can't have me?"

#43: Here We Go Again: "They have a hot tub!" The Cloth Napkin of Last Resort: "Beautiful! Who made that bikini?" It's Not Over Until Everyone Throws in the Towel: "It should have a label in front ... Here ... Can you read this?"

#44: Drop Everything! "I wonder who that could be?" (Peeking Beneath the Surface) "Do you want me to send my wife for an interview?" (Will You Get It? Don't Change! Daring & Edgy) "Oh! Are you ... (An oscillating lot of nonchalant nipple) ... still available?"

#45: Pandora's Box (Even now I Hear Them Talking): Five .. four .. three .... When you go out with your boss, cut loose! "(Later on?) Do you want me to let people see my ... front?"

#46: Mischief, Whispers, Secret Codes ... & Game For Anything: You'll find a woman to compete with (On Your Nights Out) to see (Gazing Into Gentle, Warm, Excited Eyes) who can be the biggest exhibitionist, (There Is No Dark Stranger!) or attract the most attention (There Is No Mother!) ... On a dare, the loser ("Not always me!") might be sent on an erotic quest.

#47: You Know What Margarita Made Me Do? "See that girl over there? She's married to someone, but she lost a bet and she's nude underneath her coat. The conditions of the bet were, she has to let a stranger touch her skin."

#48: Whales Want Our Women! Letting him touch you in there with your hands by your side until you're losing it and you're finished!

#49: Kissing a Trespasser: You'll make Moans-On-Tape™ so I'll have something to listen to in the car.

#50: A Random Housewife in the Hawaiian Slave Market: Who's the topless girl in the group portrait? ... Feeling her oats!

#51: It's Cold in Here! Get the Heat On: "Show them what we bought in Hawaii."

#52: Progressive Fashion Show: With no key, she winds up wearing just chains. Did you ever wish for batteries to go?

#53: Beats Bowling! One of you always has to be wearing her underpants.

#54: I Want my Treatment: Let's go out and buy you a dress you can't wear with underwear.

#55: "I think everyone can see that." Just Another Penny, She's the Best Nick in Town: Then let's start a collection ... a chartreuse dress collection for unsheathed angling men who don't peel their dates.

#56: Hang Slowly, Slowly, In The Wind – Isadora Duncan Meets the Great Houdini! "Look at you! Pinchers, a brass ring — with a rubber! ... and cufflinks behind your back!"

#57: Devil With a Blue Dress On: "You can kneel by the bed until I get back." ("How is she?" "She's ready.")

#58: It's Not Natural: "And then there's something else."

#59: Who Knows What You Heard! "That's not a door! It's a closet!"

#60: Very Expensive! – Next You're Going to Have a Baby: "You know, he doesn't have to beg ... I can hardly even feel it! ... but I want you to keep wearing one, because if I'm in a delicate condition, I want it to be my love child."

#61: Let Them Have One More Look: "Are you open?" It's Gotta Be the One That Just Happened ... Tell It to Me Slowly ... Tell You What? ... I Really Want to Know ... "This is my fertile time of month."

#62: Wild Card — So She Can Screw Around at the Drop of a Hat: "I don't want anyone to know you're my boyfriend."

#63: Beyond the Stars: "What if I had two? How does this look? ... Do you like me when I'm brazen?" she asks, opens her music stand, and spreads her sheets of music out for him ... with a broken smile, the idea is not to be strong, Be Melty! ... "What's the next best thing to strange cock?" he asks, expectantly. "The next one," she whispers, rolling her eyes away, taking the consequences of her hot breath, "How to get along with someone who is the boss's friend," into her slim hand, "... smug, arrogant, sneaky," whipping his weeping bow into a drooling sensation.

#64: Pickup Sticks: If you spot a hitchhiker, we'll drop you off half a mile down the road; then I'll circle back and pick him up, "Just a student," he says, then pick you up. Let's try it! she says, and when the hitcher's hand begins to roam, ("Mmmm ... Tahiti ...") she doesn't mind ("... a compliant woman ....") or stop it from taking liberties.

#65: Where is the physical location in the body of the soul?

#66: Singing Softly, While Everyone Pretends This Isn't Happening: Do wives on extended sabbaticals wear bras?

#67: A Persuasively Short Skirt / Should Have Opted for an Undergarment: When we're out with friends, you'll ask about Rule Sixty-Seven, and who gets to ride in the back seat.

#68: Flirting with Danger: Don't expose your shoulder!

#69: A lady should be modest.

 

 

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B. Activation & Suspension

The Eskimo Rules are "activated" under two circumstances: (1) In private, if you say, "You can't touch my pussy"; (2) In the presence of another person, if you say the word, "manners." For instance, "Mind your manners!" or "Doesn't he have nice manners?"

The Eskimo Rules are temporarily "suspended" when you whisper the word, "Eskimo!" within my earshot.

 

You must sign and date a public guestbook saying, "I agree to the Eskimo Rules!" along with any addenda, including the uninhibited generosity of Rule H-22. A Photostat of that card will be added to WooWooCanoe.com.

 

 

C. No Laughing Matter

The purpose of this game, sometimes called, "Ten Eskimos," is to select "Real Rules," also called, "No Laughing Matter."

Each player starts with a full deck of "Eskimo Rules" and selects their favorite ten. Inwardly trembling, they display them face-up, to determine binding rules they have selected in common.

Players also have the right to replace any card - that is, to reverse any particular decision (in favor of another!)

Thus paired rules become "No Laughing Matter."

Remember, ... The Eskimo Rules are ideas; No Laughing Matter makes them actions! — A modern lifestyle, blended with honesty, trust, and authenticity, in the form of erotic adventures – "Don't Waste a Minute Pretending You're Good."

Unfortunately, the game, as outlined above, doesn't actually work and a more realistic version has evolved to replace it: a system of exchanged "coupons."

1. For this version of Ten Eskimos, The Eskimo Rules are only a starting point. Each player can write as many additional rules as they want, beginning with "Rule 70."

2. "Eskimo Redemption" is played by each player selecting exactly ten rules from the general pool, writing their numbers on a card, then switching cards!

3. Each player is now holding a "menu" of approved rules from the other player.

4. From time to time, and even at unexpected times, a player can choose one or two rules from the "approved menu," write them out on an index card and hand them to the other player as a "coupon" which must be fulfilled, acted upon, or "redeemed."

5. Then the "real game" of "Eskimo Redemption" begins.

6. However, the general theme is "Your wife is up for grabs, one way or another, and it's tough titties for you!" - the specific insouciance having to do with the "willing," the "fulfilling," and the "thrilled."

7. For instance, "Rule 70: You'll take me to the Mardi Gras where I'll do anything for beads." ... "Rule 71: What Happens in Vagina Stays in Vagina." ... "Rule 72: You'll arrange for me to go out with your best friend and see if things happen." ... "Rule 73: You'll drop me in a bar, come in an hour later, and stay away if I've taken off my jacket." ... "Rule 74: You'll put me up for stakes in a weekly poker game, and I'll serve refreshments each round." ... "Rule 75: You'll write letters to a magazine until one is published, and then we'll follow it to the letter." ... "Rule 76: I'll have my alias call your alias, and anything they agree to will be a done deal." ... "Rule 77: I'm bringing some friends home, and I told them you're a French maid who never wears underwear, serves refreshments without a top, and does simple housework in the nude. So ... do you know where the feather duster is? ... They might be expecting you to open the door that way ... Here ... I'll let you talk to them."

8. This new version of Ten Eskimos is simply an exchange of Eskimo Vows ... presented back as Eskimo Coupons ... for instant and unquestioning Eskimo Redemption!

 

 

D. Eskimo Returns

(1.) How It All Began: "Will you rub my back?" "The opposite of fondle ..." "... is bareback ... You can unhook me."

(2.) She's Such a Selfish Girl: "... and wash my hair?" "You're on the lookout?" "Or the look up ... Have Pussy, Make Rules!"

(3.) Hippie Girl! She'll ask him to buy her of bottle of some "hippie scent," which she'll wear with abandon. It won't be cheating if I tell you about it.

(4.) Wet T-shirt Bet: Which if she loses, will wash the car in. "And if I win? ..." Teasing Wives Dressing for Dinner Dates ... She stretches out underneath the mistletoe ... "If you want to see heaven brother, here's your chance!" ... I've got a little space to fill ... "I like your stance!" ... What happens here stays here ... "Her magnetic morsels, succulent tracers ... the abdomen draw and thrust of the bust ... what a sweetie, her butt beckons ... butt talk ... butt call ... Show him what he mist ...."

(5.) Free Love with an Erotic Wife — Including an Intimate Dinner with the Producer — Until He Moves on to a New Conquest: "What have we here?" Arriving roughly topless, wearing a see-through apron, with Indian hand signals. "So someone can grab her tits and fuck her silly."

(6.) It's Funny, I Feel Sort of horny ... What Should We Do? "Put on something sexy and we'll go for a ride." With More Free Love! ("Like this?") "I think Bermuda is like this this time of year." (Guided trajectory) ... I need a cock up in my pussy! ("Every day can't be the same.") ... Give me one for the dog then! ("It's just an idea ... I'm not saying you have to.") "Well ... I'm safe then ... if you don't! It's ba-ad manners!" The Doctrine of the Off-Limits Pussy: "Why don't you blow him ... a kiss?" "I might as well take off the rest of my clothes." "You're that safe? If you expose your body, some people will want to touch it. "... No ... It softens my loins. Do you insist?"

(7.) "Maybe I'll Go On the Internet." With a website just a few people, plus the Producer, know about, with art photos of her in ruby poses of dishabille, eating M&M's Chocolates with Peanuts, for when he's out of town. "I'm sure something worse will happen." "How about if they search on tied .. naked .. swim .. woods .. camping?" The French Love It Because It's Free! "From your point of view!"

(8.) A Nude Confessional: "And then what did you do?" A Firecracker Affair! ("What I did with anyone else was just foreplay.") How's This? "Want me to wear my crop-top and trampy clothes out again next week?"

(9.) It's My Home and That's What I Do: Essentially, going around topless, or less, even when the Producer is over.

(10.) "Shall From Your Neck Unloose His Amorous Fold." —Shakespeare. She'll wear a low-cut soft fleece top when she goes out with the girls ... to give them ideas.

(11.) It's How You Touch Yourself: "... making them jiggle."

(12.) Afterwards, she'll trick him into taking a picture ... "Hmmm. How about the Diamonds on the Soles of Your Shoes?" Where There's a Will There's a Rope: One corner of the bed frame at a time.

(13.) Asian Amour-propre: At a high-class restaurant, when she parks her breasts on the table. "It•just dep•ends."

(14.) Work in Progress: "Next time your bra."

(15.) What You Want To Do Is Put It Off: "Maybe in a small town."

(16.) It's Not Going To Take Much, You Know? "What a lovely child ..."

(17.) I Don't Do It Routinely: "Nice moves!"

(18.) Now It's Gone: "It's transparent, isn't it?"

(19.) Just To Punish Them: "Somebody's looking."

(20.) Don't Say I Didn't Tell You: "Maybe we should have a petting party ... with the Producer."

(21.) It Comes And Goes, But You Don't See It All the Time: "I think I should have a party ... a make-out party ... but I'm not."

(22.) (Even As ...) We Run (... Almost Brushing ...) into Each Other (... "Oh!" ...) in the Dark (... An Inward Smile) "You know what comes next."

(23.) If I Do It, Will You Hold My Hand? "I'll let you sleep late in the morning."

(24.) Her Skirt Needs a Minor Adjustment — One Less Thing to Worry About: "Wherever I am?"

(25.) Seesaw! Playing the Demure Yet Slutty Wife: "I'm only half-dressed for that part." Breezily ... So Anyone Who Can See Saw Her Longitudinal Axis in Their Mind's Eye.

(26.) Few Adventures Involve Staying at Home: "I feel constrained here ... I just want to sit on a sofa in a casual way."

(27.) I Like Weird Experiences: "It would be weird if you took right off )|( left off your underpants ... and took their picture."

(28.) You Mean Flash? "And you're going to leave me here?"

(29.) He has a Schizophrenic Web Page And a Schizophrenic Wife: "I love you! ... and this is for the Producer."

(30.) There's Not a Lot of Light in Here: "You have to open the aperture all the way .. for a long exposure."

(31.) Arching, Leaning Back: "You mean a wide-angle lens, .. like this? And what's the f-stop?" Are You Satisfied Now?

(32.) Going On Vacation, Asleep in the Back: Brand new bells will be ringing ... clearly. (Why Sex is Fun ... On Holiday!) Oh, My God! The bare-nippled pearls of wisdom.

(33.) Our Arrangement: Each day we'll go our separate ways.

(34.) I Met Someone: "You told him you were married?" I told him I was on vacation with my girlfriends.

(35.) I Don't Want Him to See Me With You: "Then you have to pay a penalty."

(36.) Free Is Free: "I'll keep your wedding ring."

(37.) He's Already Seen It: "... and your underpants."

(38.) "Good, the More Communicated, More Abundant Grows." —Milton, Paradise Lost. "Then let's buy you some new shoes."

(39.) Pervert! "... and a juicy orange dress."

(40.) Someone Might Think I'm Available: "Not just orange ... drop-dead gorgeous!"

(41.) Can You Really Take a Ten-inch Cock? "Well, is it understood?"

(42.) Half Moon: "Come to our all-store sale! Sixty percent off all girls' dresses!" No Shoes, No Service! "I better try on some shoes then." Someone's Lucky They're Not Her Brother: "Make it loose."

(43.) ... with fiery eyes, and dreams no one can steal .... What Else Do I Have to Lose? "Your girlfriends."

(44.) More You! — Just Put Your Foot Up Here: "Let's start with the Slick, by Jimmy Choos ... the Slick is strappy ... with crystals on the straps ... comes in gold or black." And Your Other Foot Up Here: It's Totally Liberating ... This is Her Other Boyfriend: Things look good? ... That'll straighten you out real fast! ...

(45.) Breathe Slowly: "Swing your ... It's Too Hard! ... ding-a-ling, Mr. Bojangles!" "I'll need to carry a, uh, Producer photo in my wallet."

(46.) Maybe If I'm Free, You Should Be In Chains: "Here's my brass ring."

(47.) He's Going To Take Me to a Tattoo Parlor: "And I'm going to be branded."

(48.) "Shhhhhhhhhh ...." Do You Want to Talk About It? "I want you to listen to the Walkman while I talk on the phone."

(49.) "Move me to any black square ..." An Inducement For Bad Behavior. "... Use me any way you want."

(50.) It Was The Zip Code Rule: I told her, "You can do anything you like outside your zip code ... The more the digits differ, the farther you can go!" then just before we left she said he said, I liked you in your towel, but you didn't pop the hood. "That's nice! Playing with your zipper?"

(51.) The Last Place ... On the Outskirts, with Nothing in Between: There's nothing in between!

(52.) Pick One: (a.) Well-behaved women rarely make history; (b.) It doesn't make sense; (c.) Strange how the night moves; (d.) She's pretending to wear a thin pink sweater with a black bra; (e.) titularly!

(53.) Everything's Painted Pink! "Another nude moment." First Storyboard Caption: After necking comes petting, followed by heavy petting. "You know, sniffing begins at home."

(54.) I Think You Should Give Other People a Chance: "When interviewed in person, he said, 'I have no regrets.'"

(55.) You Know, There's Not One Word for Trust in French, and There's Four Hundred Words for Suspicion: "It turns you very dark brown, and you can't wear clothes."

(56.) Are You the Bartender? "It's either that or dance all night."

(57.) Next There'll Be Androids Inviting You to Dinner: "When you think of what she learns ... every minute, huh?"

(58.) She Said Take Me All the Way: "Are you going to misbehave?" "I think so." "Then you have to go Italian."

(59.) Reservations for Three, After Dress Rehearsal for an Interview with the Producer: "Except in the real one, you won't be wearing any clothes."

(60.) One Woman, Two Men: Consider the Possibilities: "That's one thing I know, candy." "That's my life savings!" "That's why they teach you to climb trees."

(61.) Interview with the Producer — Only the Well-heeled Need Apply: "With your head bowed, hands clasped behind your back, on your knees, legs spread, back on your heels, and facing him for your interview."

(62.) The Blouse You Wear in the Kitchen Next Morning, and Who Gets to See What: "Then what did he say?"

(63.) I Think It Means She's Available: "I'd kind of like to see that."

(64.) Northern California, Where the Girls Are Warm ... "I'm going to eat it with my eyes." ... she'll do more than that! ... making out ... fooling around ... coming undone ....

(65.) Material financial support has been provided by ... GE.

(66.) On a Möbius Strip, Dreaming: With her long legs and wicked arms, another man atop her, with his cock inside her ....

(67.) You Know, Anybody Can Get Married (Very Slowly): "Not to the Producer!" (a.) While he's giving a speech at a convention, she has a drink with a high school football player who's never been laid. "Why don't you lie down on your back and dream?" (b.) After his presentation, he has a drink with a psychic who tells him about her sexual experiences. "Are you talking Eskimo?" (c.) A Glass of Water For a Maiden Voyage: "I told Lefty, 'If I were any more natural, you'd be blushing.'" "You kept your hands behind your back?" "Until Lefty got me to the gazebo." "... What kind of name is Lefty?" "Well, he had great vision ... You can play with my titties ... Oh! See? ... Lefty ... his even-man-in number ... You can dial it ... You're the O.M.O."

(68.) She's So Strict ... Auditioning for a Nude Date in Front of her Husband! — "Get a ruler and an erection!" And How About Her Perky Puffies? "Drink red wine & break all the rules!"

(69.) I Told You I Always Break the Rules: "Except the rule is, you're not allowed to do it (deeply) ... with anyone (deeply in heaven) ... but me!"

 

 

E. Eskimo Dreams

[1] The Newlywed Game: When she takes him to the airport for a business trip, she wears a short tartan skirt with nothing underneath. "Bye, baby!" "You know, if you were going through security, they'd make you take your coat off and hold your arms out to the side." "Under the surveillance cameras?" "You have to be discreet." "You mean, with me ... this way? ... What am I going to do now? ... Bye, bye, baby!"

[2] The "We'll-Make-Love-Twice-a-Week" Rule, but there's a catch: She's Still Horny.

[3] How Bare Is Your Beaver? "Where did you go?" "Out." "What did you do?" "Nothing ... Swirling ... Want me to tell you?"

[4] Group Portrait: She'll let the camera see, carelessly, "Something Italian!" ... what the others haven't seen ... and may never see ... The Queen Mary 2 poolside attraction: a topless 3.5-inch v-kini, showing a little pussy cleavage in front, with nothing to cover the crack in back.

[5] Watching Love Grow: Giving Her a Taste of the Single Life: Her best poses shot by an anonymous photographer! "I might tell you sometime." ... to hang in their bedroom for anyone to see. "Anytime or anywhere?" Then when visitors come, you'll show us around the house in your thimble & thread bikini, bare loin cloth, "Bottomless?" and open-toed sandals.

[6] It's Open-minded Husband Day! He finds her topless in the back yard. This is something that doesn't go away. His friends come over and find her topless in the backyard. They all have a long view. He comes around and gives them a beer, and while his best friend draws out and plays with her left nipple, he draws another card. It's the black diamond. He draws the black diamond ....

[7] Changing Into Something (I think that should be encouraged) Way More Comfortable (Real 'hos don't wear pants!) "Oops, I forgot you two were here!"

[8] Just Among Friends: "Do I look fat in this?" There's no way for us to know unless you take it off. "Now?" Let's see your tan lines. "Totally?"

[9] Maintaining a Garden: They'll plant a rose for her each new lover: "That one vine is getting awfully big!" "Don't change into your bat form."

[10] We're Liberated! When the three of them go ridge hiking in the mountains, she'll go topless. "Bring your binoculars?"

[11] Picnic Lunch: She'll do anything you tell her to, won't you? "I brought two apples and one pear." Play with your nipples, baby. "Oh, God! Oh, shit!" Now unzip your pants.

[12] Seeing Is Believing: To teach a new friend something about hippie girls, or ... young women, she'll sanction a tiny pencil hole in the front of her bluejeans ... for when they ride in the back seat together ... (The next best thing to morning wood!) ... to enhance his glance, her open stance, unburring pants.

[13] Party Thread: They'll tie a white thread to her nipple and leave it "accidentally" dangling two inches higher through the front of her sweater: "Ding-a-ling!"

[14] Going All the Way with Whoever's on First versus Playing the Field: The pendant of a vintage necklace perfectly lines up with a bare nipple when she bends over to change film in her camera. "Who gave you that?"

[15] Party Dance! ... (Teaching Seminar!) ... Circle Her & Strip Her! ... (T-T-T-Tube Top Yank-Down!) ... The Great Come-on ... (Finger Fucking Snatch!) ... "I'll ride the rest of my lovers bareback!" (Bump her! Stick her!) ... Meanwhile I'll wear a condom ... (Turn Signal! Turn Signal Titties!) ... "You could ... Maybe you should."

[16] The Most Strange Allure of Sexual Intercourse ... Tasting the First Quarter Inch ... "I think I want to play the field."

[17] Presenting "The Tender Flesh," a black silhouette motion picture on a white sheet, with Smoking-Gun™ soundtrack, first Saturday of every month.

[18] During the video shoot, the sheet suddenly falls down, and they have to "drop everything" to get it back up again. This theme is repeated, with minor variations, each month. For instance, in one variation, she races around in front of the sheet to "check on it." In another variation, she simply yanks it down to "get it over with."

[19] If she's in the mood, she might engage in long conversations with him simply with one breast bared.

[20] Then, if she talks about someone else, she might bare both breasts. "You don't want me to ... tease to deny him, do you?"

[21] And depending on how that's going, she might bare everything else ... as a demonstration. "What's it for, baby? What's it for?"

[22] If this turns out to be a class act, they might visit a strip club together to pick up pointers. "Why do you deny me ... and yourself?"

[23] All She Wears Are Dresses: While at the strip club, she might put her hands behind her back and say to someone else, "Feel free."

[24] Very Rarely Pants: She might dance with different people if she's feeling "a little frisky."

[25] She might get their phone number if ("You know I can't stop when I'm dring champagne!") she melts in their arms, loses herself kissing them, or (She explains later) "They made me laugh!"

[26] She might ask them to call her if she's feeling "totally no-nonsense."

[27] Variation Is Nice: "And when he was against my belly, I felt it hard." Which brings us back to rule [19].

[28] The Bottom Can Be Nothing. )|( "It really makes you happy when I get amorous, and you hear things like this."

[29] Fine Arts Photography: Just one knee & two hands bear a glass coffee table top, a feather duster carefully planted on her other knee. In one version there's a pussycat on the table, and she's laughing. "No fair! The pussycat has hair!"

[30] For suggesting she do it in the nude, she probably deserves a spanking.

[31] She actually does, ("You're having all the fun!"), and it won't go unpunished.

[32] For her spanking there has to be at least one witness. She's told to call someone.

[33] To Sparkle Someone Else's Eyes! "Now what do you plan to wear before they get here?"

[34] What Color Flowers? "It's either my nightgown or the little black party dress I wore up in Marin ...."

[35] It Didn't Do You Any Harm, Did It? "I don't want anything on the bottom."

[36] The doorbell rings and he puts her across his knee. "Come on in!"

[37] If No One Tries to Lift It, It'll Be Perfect: "Did you ever see that?"

[38] I'm Going to Wait a While Before I Do Anything: "Turn the heat up really high."

[39] The Apparatus: They take her to a lightly wooded area free of mosquitos. She watches as they tie a rope high between two trees.

[40] "You're not wearing a watch, are you?" one of them asks her. "That's a good one!" the other one laughs, "A watch!"

[41] "Just don't put this on the Internet," she claims, as one of them ties a crisp black blindfold over her ears.

[42] "The Web! That's a good one," one of them laughs.

[43] A Sense of Privilege That Drove Them Nuts: "Let's catch us a fishy in the Web!" she hears the clicks of a telescoping tripod ... "And action!" ... then the two horses.

[44] Indicative of the Social Obligation She Was Bound to Perform: She can smell them. These are the same two horses she fed oats from her hand last night, one of them a stallion.

[45] "Whoa!" one of the guys says, "That's a beauty!"

[46] They'll use the mare to make the action. Then she feels four sets of hands, lifting her, fitting her intimately underneath the stallion already snorting, under the cinch, her wrists in the irons, her heels made fast to the blanket ....

[47] "Oh, God!" the penetration and lash of the crop!

[48] When she wakes up, she goes downstairs in just a thin black belt and white cotton panties to make pancakes & syrup for "just one more!"

[49] One by one they come in, sit around laughing, talking to her like old friends. It's her husband, the stranger, who really has to catch up.

[50] After she serves them, one of them, someone else, who's sitting on the sofa, asks her to come closer. He pulls down her panties for a better look, puffy though not a puff of hair.

[51] He's pulled out his erection and put her hand on it; she doesn't pull away, stroking its curious curve all the while talking about what they did last night.

[52] No One Ever Taught Her There's a Right Way to do Anything: He turns her around so she can see the others and, with a hand on her belt, has her sit on his lap.

[53] She sits astride him and talks to the others as if nothing is happening, even as his length slips inside. "That's when I began to worry," her erstwhile purveyor tells her later, "you might go all the way."

[54] She glances at her husband, then slips up & down, hand & knee, toe & foot, to get the evidence.

[55] "Maybe we should take you back to bed," one of them says, and they lead her one, two, three, upstairs.

[56] "You wait down here," someone else tells her husband. "This is between her and us."

[57] "Yeah, you stay down there, Warden!" They're taking her up to the prison roof for some unrestrained thug fucking.

[58] "But wait!" She turns and goes down to her husband, whispers something in his ear, then cries out, "Do you think you could catch me?" and races out the door.

[59] "No bottom, okay?" Disregard that.

[60] There's No Such Thing as Making Things Right: "Smoking!" Kissing someone else on the beach.

[61] Just for Privacy: Up in the dunes she finds her bathing suit where she left it, then goes for a swim.

[62] Back in their room he says, "I want to see what you look like when you're nude in front of someone else."

[63] I Have an Admirer: They might go shopping for a sundress or casually make reservations for a luau. "He's been following us."

[64] She might try on a grass skirt (Maybe You Can See Me, Too!) and leave the dressing room door open a little for the benefit of the stalker; she might also, catching her admirer feigning indifference in the mirror, try on a new top.

[65] They might go to a Marx Brothers movie together and never get over it.

[66] The Benefits of Sunshine: They might go out in a glass bottom boat so they can see the fish.

[67] A Window on the World: "And the fish can see me."

[68] Ikura desu ka? "They have dance halls in Japan where the floors are mirrors."

[69] Bowing Slightly: "Then the big fish can see me."

 

 

F. Eskimo School

1. "I Like the Variety." Before classes begin, they'll go shopping for a symbolic piece of jewelry for her to wear, say, a thin gold waist chain, signifying, Beyond 50-50: the male partner's allegiance & fidelity to the female partner's candid ("I usually sleep with the one I love."), languid (wearing nothing but the chain) & absolutely certain infidelity. ("If you want to do a thing, do a thing!")

2. The Electric Kiss Tells All: They have to make a choice: Either she attends Eskimo School, or he attends Eskimo School, but not both. (Single men are always eligible, without question.) "Are you thinking long thoughts? ... Ooo, look how big it got!"

3. Eskimo School Orientation & Camping Trip ... A five-day river raft excursion, designed as both a remote getaway and a once-in-a-lifetime reconnection with nature. Helping her pack camping clothes (with no bathing suit), he does see her filch the Eskimo Chain.

4. Erotic Effects of Having a Crush: In the first class, students determine who has crushes on each other. As class begins, smirking males sit down in every other seat. Tentative females take places between them, and ask their partner, "What's up?" With time, students establish permanent seats. From week to weak, students can only touch the one next to them, to tweak the lingering effects of jealousy.

5. After the camping trip, she's asked to become one of the photography instructors, for a class entitled, Lights and Shadows in Darkroom Processing. People begin to hear hints of someone called, "The Unbuckler."

6. Art Modeling: Wearing a short tunic, she's also chosen to pose with another student in an erotic frieze, half an hour at a time. "Yeah, but it wouldn't be fun if they encouraged you." Also without. "What do you mean by expli... erotic?" "Sit down on her right side. Now bring your right hand across, between her legs, and snake your fingers as far as you can up her pussy – Now out again. We want to see the lips pushed in and pulled way-y-y out – Now let it snap back. And you! ... bring your left hand across and shake hands with his cock. Whoa! Easy!"

7. During the semester she makes significant contributions to a screenplay entitled, The Girl Next Door. To No Avail. She's resigned herself to being chosen for an insignificant role, perhaps as a nude stand-in.

8. An Intimate Forum on Conditions for Eroticism: In an advanced early evening seminar, she has to keep her pussy continuously on display, legs apart, as they discuss ideas for research on turning people on. "Isn't this ... scandalous?"

9. Occasionally, they will use her to test their ideas ... (This game MUST be played by three or more people.) The rules for the old-time children's game, Post Office, had been lost by the sixties (because, as her currently lolligog posture suggests, "What the heck?") As she sits there with her legs spread ("The Gaze is the Erection of the Eye": This impressionistic pastiche ("artistic reenactment") can also be played at home, for when friends come over), the group pretends to solve a problem in game theory, which can be stated as follows: "A new game has been devised with an open door and a closed door, called, The Devil Made Me Do It. A randomly selected male and female choose a Blue Rule and a Pink Rule, and between them decide which of the two rules to perform in view of everybody, in an open door, and which to keep secret and perform behind the closed door." (With these words she may be tempted to bring her legs together, though she must continue to keep them invitingly open.) The game under discussion is interesting because while one couple is performing the "secret rule" behind closed doors, the group creates brand-new rules, kept randomly shuffled. Sample Pink Rule: He lightly tickles her under the arms, while she sits astride his lap with her hands over her head. Sample Blue Rule: Mounted atop his back, bending close like a jockey, she gives him a three-minute massage, using wrists, palms and forearms. (The group continues to discuss similar rules while she keeps her knees measurably apart.) As finally specified (under these casually carnal and non-group-theoretic explicitly dallying conditions), "Any individual (or couple) who refuses to comply with either an open-door rule, or closed-door rule, forfeits an article (or articles) of clothing AND contributes five dollars (ten dollars) to a kitty." The overriding theoretic question for the group ("Wait a minute! We get to vote: Stay that way? -or- T-shirt?") to contemplatively consider remains: "As the final female becomes completely unclothed, who gets the kitty?"

10. Sex Basket: Near the end of the semester, she will attend "fruit basket" get-togethers, without her regular partner, in which she will be passed from one person to another as "food for thought." She will spend the rest of the night with one of them, after she "draws their straws."

11. Up The Spiral Staircase: Losing interest in sex, love, and everything else, she is "accidentally" introduced to the erotic massage.

12. School Secret: Not discussed much, but has something to do with an emotional tangle, blackmail, and Being Made Unconditionally Available to The One You Hate.

13. Eskimos Aren't Real and Neither Are You: The strangeness of strange cock near her unceremoniously half-unbowed steam-rising front-flap-down bikini.

14. The Full Extent of the Damage: The movie will initially be released in Thailand.

15. The Plot: The only way she can prevent its release is by "fucking her way to the top."

16. You Only Go Once: Except at the top, they only want someone "who's fresh."

17. Do This, Do That: If she drops out of the school, they'll call it a wrap, dub the movie, The Dropout, with French subtitles, and release it in America. They ask if she wants to be introduced to anyone.

18. She Has Other Classes To Attend: (a.) One is entitled, Applying for a Job When "All You Have is a Blank Piece of Paper for a Résumé." (–Helen Stickler in The New York Times, August 21, 2003.) (b.) She Also Turns Up for a Class Entitled, Haute Couture: A skirt made of ones, fives, and hundred dollar bills, in successive rings, separated by spaces; then wearing, instead of a bra, curved viewing horns for viewing the breasts therein. (c.) Next, Office Politics – There's Nothing You Can Do: Kissing somebody back, impaled on a strange cock. (d.) Finally, her new lover convinces her to attend, Eskimo Psychology 101: (Pretty Cut & Dry (Low ... Lo & Behold!) Happy days!) ... A Half-breed! I like a girl with a swirl of ethnicity.

19. Maybe She'll See a Therapist: At home, her husband seems to be getting healthy, so they initiate a new regime in which ... playfully, at first ... he puts on her underpants and lets her take his picture.

20. Nicely Equipped! After his picture is passed around, he is asked to sign a waiver and become an active participant as she continues to fuck her way to the top.

21. Enjoyable Specialties – Used & Wet! She asks him to lick her sloppy pussy, wash her underwear and wear her bikini underpants, with a noticeable cock ring, to work as "another extra" on the movie set.

22. It's Kind of a Shady Woods: "Don't you want to be my bitch?" she teases on her way out the door.

23. She tells the One She Hates Most she's going to kill him, who merely laughs, "I don't care – I'm already dead!" then adds, "Did you get that on tape?"

24. "See those men out the window?" he asks, pushing her back against his desk. "They're not in construction – They're extras." He has her begin to unbutton her dress.

25. Sometimes Training Bras Really Pay Off! The benefits and inner meaning of a skimpy bikini. "One strap, one but-ton ... then I guess I'll have to see you naked ... First face the window."

26. At home her husband asks her if she wouldn't mind becoming a total slut. (Oooo ... Do you know what a blockhead is?) She Still Has a Sense of Humor: "You mean at Church with my brother?"

27. Next We'll Both Start Crying: He touches her cheek and asks, "Can I wash your hair?"

28. A Romantic Comedy Informed by Jealousy: She cries and vacuums the house in the nude, and stays nude, even when their friends come over.

29. Everyone Has a Chance: They "accidentally" discover a book of Polaroids of her making love to people they know.

30. Like a Little Social Operator: She shows them how she puts her phone number on the back of each picture.

31. It's Easier to Ask For Forgiveness than to Ask For Permission: They decide to live in separate apartments and get together for an occasional date. "Let's go for a nipple walk so people can see you've got, mmmm-tch-tch, unserviced genes in a cage." Someone's going to get it ... "You have to pay the price!"

32. Today's a Perfect Day For It: "Will you keep doing my dirty laundry?" she asks him, "All of it? ... and wearing my panties?"

33. Maybe She Has a Spell: So they promise to get together "real soon."

34. I Was Going to Bring Some Bananas! On their first date she asks him to bring his best friend, and when they go out on the town, She Goes Air-Nippling Between Them ... Penalty Points: Short Skirt!

35. She's on the Prowl: She tells them she wants to see them in their underwear, knowing her husband is wearing hers.

36. I Don't Mind Because It's Worth Its Weight in Gold: Her husband dances with her, and she says, "Do you have permission? ..."

37. Two Lovers, and I Ain't Ashamed: "... You know, you were the first person who ever came in my mouth, and it was only that one time ..." They Enjoy a Sizzling Erotic Connection ... Switch,(Reach out!) switch, (Very soulful!) switch! (A Passing Fancy!)

38. Two Lovers, And I Love Them Both the Same: "... And anyway, I've seen that one before ... Now I want to see something new ..." (His Wife and Best Friend, in Bed and Having Fun!)

39. It's a Breeze: She turns to his buddy and says, "Will you forgive me?" and pulls down his pants. ((Springs!)) ... ((Whoo!)) ...((A Tall Order!))

40. No More Mr. Nice Guy! Then playfully steps back from the danger!

41. You Have All the Time in the World: She kneels in front of his best buddy and shows what she's learned to crave.

42. If You Don't Take Your Time, You Don't Have Any Time: "You love juicy cock, don't you?"

43. Severely: "I loved it best when you were my butler ... on New Year's Eve."

44. Some People It Takes a Long Time: "And you were riding a midnight cock that wasn't mine ... and I served you a glass of water."

45. Wistfully: "And we made videos anyone can see."

46. Earnestly: "I'll let you sleep with me now if you give me a hundred dollars."

47. This Is the Meaning of Rich! "What will you do for five hundred?"

48. Abandonedly: "Spread my legs on a nude beach."

49. We Won't Have Any Trouble With That Brush Again! "After I take you in to a www.truspa.com Day Spa for a sixty-dollar Brazilian Bikini Wax?"

50. Figuratively: "If you let me hide behind a vine in Hawaii!"

51. I Think Her Father is the Great Rule Giver – The Engineer: "We'll have to go skinny-dipping at the hotel beach."

52. Nocturnally: "And leave the curtains open?"

53. But Everyone Can See That! "Only if we turn on the bed-stand light – That's the rule."

54. Finally! "Then I'll suck your cock ..."

55. The Escape Artist: "About what time?"

56. Everyone Does: "Just before you blindfold me, tie me to your bed, have me drink a large mug of tea with honey, jam, and at least 100g of vodka, and call the room number some guy is holding up!"

57. An Erotic Relationship: A night out with no questions.

58. A Mind-Boggling Relationship: Helping her dress for a night out with no questions.

59. A Zeitgeist Relationship: Encouraging him to feel how soft her skin feels, just with his hands, before helping her dress for a night out with no questions.

60. Trust But Verify: To verify he truly has an "Intercontinental Ballistic Missile," he will first remove all his clothes before she "encourages him to feel how soft her skin feels, just with his hands, before helping her dress for a night out with no questions."

61. Disciplined Trust But Verify: To verify his I.B.M., he'll remove his clothes and cuff his hands behind his back to keep him from "jumping her" as she dresses for a Night Out With No Questions.

62. Kinky Trust But Verify: After he puts on the handcuffs, she'll add nipple clothespins to "help him get used to it," as she dresses for a "N.O.W. No Questions!" and talks to someone on the telephone.

63. Christmas Tree Trust But Verify: Encouraging her to wear her Eskimo Waist Chain, (signifying "Free Horizons,") he'll also dress himself in nothing but a brass cock ring, attached to a string around his waist, along with a twelve-foot length of two-inch surgical gauze, tied under the ring, across the middle of his testicles and under, looped tight around the waist string, back down the crack of his ass, then up the front and around the back of his neck and down again, before handcuffing his hands behind his back, "Now add the clothespins."

64. Laugh All You Want: "Do you want to do Show & Tell?"

65. You can teach children how to share money, how to save money for a goal, say, buying a new car, and how to spend money in the enjoyment of life. Give them a regular allowance and a selection of ways to earn even more money. Give them practical experience investing their own savings in stocks, bonds, real estate, and limited licenses.

66. Oh, Now We're Really Getting Serious: "He wants to marry me."

67. Twin Eskimo Surveillance: "It's like a work of art!"

68. She's So Modern: "Two at the same time, she wants!"

69. "You won!" she grunts, "Him, too!"

 

 

G. Eskimo Honeymoon

-1- It Seems To Make Sense: "If I do things with other people, then I can be like a virgin with you."

-2- It's Like Going into a Parallel Universe. "So this can be our ... 'little extra' honeymoon."

-3- We Can Learn Things About Each Other. "You can help me dress to go on a date," she admits, Then we can cuddle and kiss!

-4- "You can let me see your penis," she also announces, "so I can learn about that." Maybe when I have a few girlfriends over, we'll have to inspect it some more.

-5- It's Always So Hard! Is It Viagra? "You've never even seen a soft penis, have you?"

-6- His Mission: "If you show me what a soft penis looks like, I'll make love with you ... baby!"

-7- You Can't Touch It! "Okay, keep your hands behind your back!" "How am I going to do that?" Here are the handcuffs.

-8- On the Lookout for Someone Better. "Then I'll tell you what I do ... on a Test..icle! Drive ... As long as you're hard!"

-9- She's Genetically Obedient. "Can I test your obedience?" He has her walk around the room. (A Marriage with Dates!) They swap signed Tits-Pix™ or autographed Puss-Pix™ with another Mardi Gras couple, with her phone number on the back. If she signs her name Raven, it means "blowjobs only"; her real name means ....

-10- And When You ... Meet Someone Better? "Then I'll have to give them my complete obedience." (First I'm Going to Expose You To All My Friends ...)

-11- Assateague Island, Maryland. "You can breed me like a mare ... on an island of wild horses ..." (For Deep Religious Reasons, They Can't Wear Condoms.)

-12- Why Do You Like Me to Have a ... Bare Pussy? "It's like competition to have big fat penises up inside you." "Then I'll be the nudest nudist, and you'll be my chaperone." (A truly bare pussy is secret knowledge that has to get passed from one man to another.)

-13- So By Truly Bare, You Mean ... ? "Completely."

-14- Then If I Don't Let You Play With It? "That's an incentive."

-15- I'll Be Someone Better's Prize. "It'll be candy."

-16- So To Make It Completely Bare, I Can't Do It By Myself. "That's the beginning."

-17- Time Is Running Backward! "Have you lost your virginity?" No.

-18- While They're Talking, He Writes "Obedience" On Her Underpants. Then just before they go to dinner, he says, "Now give me your obedience."

-19- It's the Symbol of Total Independence, Total Compliance ... "You don't actually have to write that on my underpants!" she says, handing them to him. You're the dog!

-20- ... and Total Availability ... They Take Each Other For a Walk. "I'm amazed we don't get tangled up!" "We could go to marriage counseling." Like This?

-21- I'll Be Your Marriage Counselor: "I want you to go out and find someone you can give your complete obedience."

-22- Don't You Think We Should Have a Fight First? "No, I think you should kiss the marriage counselor first."

-23- I Think I Can Do That. "You've already given me your obedience." Give 'em back!

-24- If You Have My Obedience, Then How Can I Give Someone Who's Better My Obedience? "Maybe you can start by showing them your nipples."

-25- Carefully, Sweeping as We Go. "That'll be a little easier."

-26- Wearing Seven Rubber Bands and a Fancy Black Dress, I'll practice for a job interview. (With a Momentary Spread & Flip-up – To The Erotic Theater – She Gives a Tantalizing Twist of Pussy ...) "Ohh! This is my business associate, my ... counselor, my cousin, my fairy lady, my husband ... Doesn't he have nice manners? ... my ... chaperone!" "Would you like a piece ... of cheesecake? ... She's unserviced, and I'm her chaperone." (... and Twirls Her All Around the Floor.)

-27- Her Personal Sacrifice Will Be, And I'm not going to wear a bra; (... So Just Anyone Can See Her Bare Nipples.)

-28- One At A Time: All good girls have treats!

-29- What Would Your Mother Say About That? Don't do anything fast.

-30- It Should Be Pretty Easy ... (A second honeymoon) ... Probably An Evil Thought ... (To celebrate everything we ever did) ... When It Hurts, It Does You Good "... with anyone else!"

-31- A Lot of People, They Milk Them Like Cows. "You look like you're having a lot of fun."

-32- They're Looking At Your Nipples. And guess what else?

-33- How Much Protection Do You Need? Inch By Inch.

-34- Am I crazy? ... "The very soul of her sex ..." I crossed the line! "... the inviolate core of her beauty, ..." Feeling the attraction! "... the whorling slight of her femininity ..." Showing me their appreciation! "... exposed to their lingering glance." I love you ...

-35- "It all has to happen if I ... mmm ... have your obedience." You do! ... In The Unconscious, Opposites Are The Same Thing. ... so much!

-36- He's Asking Her to Dance: "Were you my husband from eight hundred years ago?" ... On the dance flo' ... Just one tiptoe! ... No underpants show!

-37- It's Just a Dodge ... Another Dumb Thing. The unexpected thrill of meeting someone new.

-38- "Who are you?" Just the Ripples on the Surface of the Well. "You are what you play." Jus' the nipples ... Rocking, Rolling ... Out-of-controlling ... Ear to Armpit, ...

-39- "Hmmm ..." he murmurs, "What have you lost?" in her other ear. "Is it huge or ... am I just little?" "Go slow." "We have so much time!" As Her Titties Take a Stand & Shake Their Heads No ... He's the dangerous kind! ... Falling in love ... Where's the baby? ... with a better man ... In the mix! ... than her husband.

-40- I Don't Kiss Strange Men. "It's already happened ... Do you ... want it to happen again?"

-41- The Fall Has Fallen. The Maharishi! The Little Man Who Lived With the Monkeys! What is there to know?

-42- They Just Don't Have Any Restrictions. "You guys have it all staked out." "Who's that?"

-43- "Mmmm ... The one in the middle." They Move It Here, They Move It There. "Maybe we can, maybe we cantaloupe!" "Who's the other guy?"

-44- "That's a pickle ..." "Says who?" "The one in the middle!" They Listen to Elvis Records. Sometimes you have to speak to people in their own language, ... leaning back, "... and that's nuts!" "It's too early for three strikes and you're out."

-45- I Can Talk For Me, But I Can't Talk For You. "He wants me to go with him."

-46- This Land Is My Land. "Are you married to this woman?" "How could we play if we were married?"

-47- Your Parents Don't Know What You Are. "I think she's ready ..."

-48- Good Business. "... Anything you want to sell?"

-49- You Know What? It's Business. "Give me five dollars, and you can play with her nipple." Just the right one!

-50- "And for ten?" Okay, ... Don't tell the Pharaoh! Oooo, you can count to ten!

-51- Sort of, But Even More Grotesque. "This is just for little things."

-52- "For what?" Everybody knows that ... Except the Church basement choir.

-53- "Can I bring friends?" No, Solo!

-54- She's a Very Simple Little Dog ... Getting intimate, with no leash! ... "Your cell phone is your best friend."

-55- Isn't That Funny? "I'm probably ahead of a lot of people, huh?" Look how nice her hair looks.

-56- Every Day is Extra. "Bread tastes different when you're starving." Let everyone touch it ... It's squishy.

-57- I Was Conflicted. "I told him I'd go out on a second date ..." It may be a dream come true.

-58- Damage Control. "... for souvenirs ..." Take her for a walk and smell the flowers.

-59- Don't Fight It. "... He wants to take me into the woods with the intention of tying me to a tree ... and taking pictures." Well, you have a chance.

-60- We'll All Be Dressed as Puritans. "Will you be dressed?" It's out of The Arabian Nights.

-61- I Had No Choice. I am a School Dropout and Have No Skills. (Refusing orders.)

-62- "Good moaning!" (Rigorous reasoning.)

-63- It's Very Hard to Live This Sloppily When You Feel Trapped. I'm not blue-blood ... I'm bluish!

-64- That's the Kind of Thing Artists Never Get a Chance to Talk About to Each Other. Not only is she a trophy wife, she's the trophy!

-65- TippedShoebox.com - "Kiss Student" ... Dedicated to girls who do things outside the box.

-66- Waiting For a Sign. What the natives used to call, Smoking Fish on Rafts.

-67- It Always Gets Darker Before There's No Light. "I lost a button!" It was that warm April!

-68- Hurricanes, Tragedies, Crises, Wrecks, Sunken Treasure. I'm back! Where Is Your Shame? Now you can be front!

-69- (I loved him,) she whispered. For Me That Was a Momentary Hurt; For You, It's a Lifetime. (Geysers run deep.) "You doubled my net worth."